Is It Cake? + The Importance of Curiosity + Literalisms + A Sailor's Guide To Earth

Spring Break is winding down in DC, and our family spent the week holed up at the Wood House rather than visiting family in Massachusetts as originally planned. It was a great way to return to a slower pace, spend time together, and dig in the dirt. I hadn't been there in about two months and nature has definitely decided it's spring. The gardens are coming alive, the water level is up, and the animals are stirring. 

The down time allowed for a wide array of inspiration, including these things I've been: 

Watching - I loved game shows growing up. It seemed like they dominated TV in the 80s. Whether it was Press Your Luck, Hollywood Squares, Family Feud, Jeopardy, or any other board game transferred to the tube, I was enthralled. Then in the late 90s reality TV pushed everything else aside and took over the airwaves. I can't say I was a huge fan. Recently though there seems to be this interesting intersection of the two where a recurring cast of contestants compete against one another. Our family has fallen down the rabbit hole of one such series called Is It Cake? It's a pretty simple premise: nine pastry chefs compete to see who can fool a panel of judges by creating ultra-realistic cakes. Then the host, Mikey Day of SNL fame, pulls out a giant chef's knife, looks knowingly at the camera and asks "Is it cake?" before attempting to slice into whatever item the judges have chosen. Admittedly this show is down right silly, but if you're looking for a half hour TV nonsense, I recommend you indulge. Maybe it's the baker's artistry that's engaging. Maybe it's trying to guess which thing is actually cake. Maybe it's just the host's ability to find endless ways to deliver the show's tagline and always snag a laugh. Who knows, but I'm pretty sure you'll find it entertaining.

Reading - I just picked up Invent and Wander: The Collected Writings of Jeff Bezos. It's a collection of Bezos' letters to shareholders as well as pieces from interviews and speeches. I haven't gotten into the body of the book just yet, but the foreward by Walter Isaacson is wonderful. Isaacson has written incredible biographies on Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Leonardo DaVinci and others. According to Isaacson, the things that pulls these inventors and titans of industry together is not intelligence; it's creativity and imagination. The thread that he sees between his subjects is trifecta of childlike curiosity and wonder, a blending of arts and science, and an ability to think differently. I'm. excited to see how these traits appear in Bezos' writing and speeches. I'm also very inspired to pick up a few of Isaacson's other tomes now. 

Thinking about - Zachary is currently in the throes of a playful stage I'll call "literalism for the sake of dissonance". If you're a parent you've likely been through this phase. Five minutes is exactly five minutes. A little embellishment from his sister gets responded to with an "actually...". You know where this goes. As frustrating as this can be, it's got me thinking about places we use certain words whose literal meanings may not serve us all that well. Agency is a big thing for me, so the obvious examples are saying can't when I mean won't or choose not to; using need to or have to when I really mean will or want to. Another big subconscious offender for me are is should. Should is an expectation that you've accepted from the outside world. It's an easy word to lay out there, but having full agency means taking a beat and asking yourself, "is this something that I choose to do?" What literalisms are triggers for you? Which ones slip into your lexicon and may not serve you well?

I'm trying something new this week, attempting to sync this blog post with an email blast. As a little celebration, I'm adding a new link to the post. Each week I'd like to share a YouTube concert that I recently enjoyed. 

The inaugural show is from Sturgill Simpson. It's a complete live performance from 2016 of his third studio album A Sailor's Guide to Earth.

Enjoy a musical and curious week. 

The Tao of Ted Lasso + The Power of Regret + The Soul in Guitar Solos

I've felt like I've been in a little of an intake rut for the last few weeks. Most of the reading, listening, watching, and interacting I've done has been with the same people and places I usually lean on. That consistency is key to my health and stability, but when I become overly aware of it, I try to push into a few new places. This week I tried to do that by moving into a few lighter places. Sometimes it worked exactly like I thought it would, and other times it really surprised me. It's like that famous line from Forrest Gump...

Anyway, here's a bit of what I've been: 

Watching - I haven't binged a show since Netflix delivered DVDs through the mail, but this weekend I devoured both seasons of Ted Lasso in about 36 hours. Watching TV was about all I felt like doing between long bouts of sleep as I fought off my first run in with covid. And this seemed like just the simple sitcom to get me through. I was so right, and so wrong. The show definitely got me through, but what I thought would be two dozen episodes of one level comedy turned out to be an incredibly well rounded, thoughtfully layered series; one of the best I've watched in a long time. The range of characters provides a wide array of people to identify with, each with deeply human issues, redeeming qualities, and relational challenges. Every member of the ensemble cast allows for an examination of who we are, who we might be, and what we struggle with. The writing doesn't openly ask us these questions. It doesn't probe too deep. It just lets the viewer answer the questions for characters...and for themselves. And then there are the simple life lessons of Coach Lasso. Despite fighting his own deep and difficult demons, he delivers unwavering dedication to everyone else, and to the mission of life instead of surface level sport. He keenly hones in on winning the personal battle over the game, becoming the best person possible by being the best player possible, and by shifting the focus from the results we get to the actions we take. If you haven't seen it, I highly encourage you to stream some Ted Lasso (though something tells me I might be the last person in America to watch the show). Now...can someone help me understand the weird Coach Beard episode in Season Two? 

Listening to - Earlier in the week I listened in on Liz listening to her favorite podcast, Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. It was like podcast voyeurism, but that's a whole other entry. :-) Armchair Experts is self-described as interviews with "celebrities, journalists, and academics about 'the messiness of being human'". I mean, who can deny loving the uncovering of human messiness through great conversation? This episode featured Daniel Pink. He is the author of seven books, three of which are New York Times' Best Sellers. In 2009 Pink authored Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us back in 2009 which is a favorite of mine. His latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Can Move Us Forward is about the four types of regret and what they can do for us. I wrote a bit about regret a few weeks ago and so this listen was really well timed. Pink says that we experience regret in four types: foundation, boldness, moral, and connection. I can't wait to read the book and learn more, but at first glance these all seem to say one thing to me: we regret things because of the effect on us and those we love. We either don't work or save or study hard enough and it limits what we achieve and what we can pass on. We regret not taking actions to stand up for others or ourselves. We regret going against what we know is right because it tears us down and takes away from others. We regret losing touch because we know that we are fundamentally an interconnected species. So how do we live without regret? I think it's by living bravely, which is to do what's right even when it's hard. What helps you live without regret? 

Reading - For a little lighter note, I loved reading this interactive piece called Why We Can't Quit the Guitar Solo. To start it features thoughts from some of all time favorites guitarists: Vernon Reid, Joey Santiago, and J Mascis. The piece also has great visuals and a nice high level progression of how the guitar solo evolved. The point of the piece though, is that while the guitar solo may have apexed in one way -- the virtuoso note playing or scale execution -- it has no bounds for its true purpose, which is emotional expression. That's what we love about music in all its forms. It's art. It's the human expression of our deepest emotions. So whether you're more Kim Tahyil or Joan Baez, rock on. 

For a parting thought, I've had this hanging around in an open browser tab for a few weeks. I read a piece in March that surprised me. The Utah governor vetoed a transgender sports ban in March. I found this a really brave move for a Republican leader in today's hyper-divided political atmosphere where every decision is a purity test. The best part though was his rationale; he explained by saying, "I struggle to understand so much of it...[but] when in doubt however, I always try to err on the side of kindness, mercy and compassion."

May your week be deeper than you thought and filled with kindness, mercy, and compassion in your moments of confusion.

Type II Fun + Finding Your Own North Star + Remembering Taylor Hawkins + LEGO Bonus

We wrapped up the first quarter of the year last week. When it comes to increments for reflection a quarter of a year is a really nice time chunk for me. It's not as massive as a year, where so much gets sifted out. And it's greater than a single month, where the establishment of habits, or the progress toward a big goal are harder to see. As I get older it seems that each month, each quarter, each year goes by faster. I guess that's inevitable since time is a relative reflection of where we've been. The longer we've been here, the shorter the increments seem in comparison. It's a good reason to stay as present as possible. By living in the moment, you remove yourself from the passage of time ever so slightly. 

Here's what else I've been:

Thinking - as I recover from my little snowboarding slip last week, I've been reflecting on an idea called Type II fun. I love this sketchplanation of the fun scale. (By the way, I definitely snowboard in the Type I fun category, so I probably shouldn't be as sore as I am!) The term Type II fun sprung up in the outdoor adventure world a while back and it basically boils down to things that are really difficult (maybe not even fun) in the moment, but are fun in reflection. Think about running a marathon, competing in a triathlon, climbing a mountain, maybe even your morning workout. Another way to say it is that they are rewarding, rather than enjoyable. The idea correlates pretty well with one that I use a lot at work: the urgent / important matrix, sometimes known as the Eisenhower Matrix. Type II fun is that upper right quadrant of important and not urgent. It is critical for our growth and personal success. It's the stuff that would be important but not urgent at the office. Type I fun is great; it's needed. It's the stuff that makes us smile and laugh. It puts out the fire, but Type II fun is the stuff that makes us glow. 

Reading - A friend recently recommended that I pick up something by Martha Beck, so I perused her catalog and chose Finding Your Own North Star. The premise is that each of us have two selves. The first is our essential self; it's who we are deep down, our best, most focused, flowing, centered, joyful self. The second is our social self; it's who we become because of outside forces in our environment, whether we want to or not. This idea isn't a new one, and social pressures are something that we all take on whether we intend to or not. Beck calls this social force the Everybodies. They're the groups of people that we select to represent the larger segments of society that are important to us. In reality they are not a true representation of the general public; they're usually not even a true representation of our environmental influencers. Because of that disproportionate imbalance, we put too much weight on these social opinions of who we are -- and who we are told we should be. Beck also talks about an Everybody that nourishes our essential self. These are the people that support who we are at our core and who encourage who we want to be in our heart of hearts. When we can find that Everybody, they influence our social self to align with our essential self. And that's when and where we become our best self. 

Remembering - Taylor Hawkins, drummer for the Foo Fighters, died on March 25th. Honestly I was a little too stunned to write about it last week. I needed to listen to all of those anthems before I could reflect on the shocking loss. Hawkins was a true rock star. He went all out, studied his craft, honed his chops, honored his idols, loved his fans, adored his family, battled his demons, corrected his course, and played incredibly versatile, kick ass drums. He had one of the biggest challenges in all of rock music history: he took the drummer's kit in a band behind Generation X's most famous drummer, Dave Grohl. To be clear, he didn't replace Grohl in Nirvana. He created something entirely different as Hawkins and Grohl build the Foo Fighters into the most Grammy winning American band of all time. Here's a little 60 Minutes clip on the two best friends. It's probably been 15 years since I saw the Foos, and it's an experience I'll never forget. I was lucky enough to slip into a show they played at the 930 Club in the mid aughts. Putting a stadium band into a box that's built for 1,200 people is just insane, and a massive part of that sonic insanity was Taylor Hawkins. I'm so fortunate to have experienced that, and the world is so lucky to have the Foo's music to remember Taylor.

Appreciating - Some things are just better said with blocks than with words. 10 Life Changing Ideas Visualized out of LEGO.

Have a rocking, well stacked, essential week. 

Running Across Mexico + Charisma and Character + March Madness

A late season trip to Vermont for some skiing provided a great end to the week. We were really fortunate and got three mornings of fresh snow and just as many breakfasts with hot, fresh donuts in the lodge. I love watching my kids build their skills, and constantly admire my wife's incredible grace gliding down the mountain. For me, getting back on a board is always a humbling (yet fun) experience. As a late life learner each ski trip we take allows me to rediscover that "learning is fun, don't get frustrated" mindset. Enjoy the journey, right? 

Here's what else I've been...

Talking about - Energy and fatigue. A friend and I swapped stories of recent burnout and recovery. Nothing serious, but it got us thinking. Neither of us are runners but we stumbled on an interesting analogy between running styles and energy use, be it mental, physical, or emotional. It seems that some people are sprinters; they burn hot, run fast, and pour everything they have into the immediate problem at hand with an unyielding solitary focus. The results are amazing short term results and long recovery periods. Others are joggers; they move through things with a steady pace, constantly progressing, stretching at stoplights. Then there are the marathoners; they train to keep a good pace and tackle large problems by breaking them into chunks. I'm working to be the marathoner. Specifically the example that Germán Silva just set. Check out his incredible story of running across Mexico. 

Reading - More than once this week, our leadership team revisited our company values. We're curious if they're the same as when we founded Fulcrum? Are they well defined and understood? Which ones are required and which are preferred for our team members? It's a great conversation. Values showed up in two other places for me this week. The first is a book I’ve added to my soon-to-read list: Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman. Seligman is a leader in the positive psychology field and has done some amazing work on Authentic Happiness. The second was in a Facebook post by Gary Keller. To quote: “Charisma attracts and Character retains. Too many entrepreneurs have a lot of charisma and too little character. Their charisma will eventually betray them. Character means you walk your talk. It’s the same as integrity. Character is who you are. Integrity is living that out. Charisma is the talk. Character is the walk.” Man, I love this idea. 

Watching - For the last three nights my family has huddled and cuddled to watch the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight rounds of March Madness. We will likely do the same tonight. I love seeing the huge hearts of the players and the high stakes of single elimination play. The stories of top seeds falling and Cinderellas advancing are so much fun to watch. St. Peter's historic run into the Elite Eight has been the story of the tournament thus far. I thought this take on the financial implications of their success was interesting. Stripping away all of the outside factors, I love watching March Madness for two things: (1) will that last minute shot go in and create chaos, and (2) can a team hold the lead and hit the pressure free throws to cement the win. Free throws are that perfect place where pressure and practice connect to see what we're made of.

Here's to a poised, energetic posture as you walk your talk this week. 

Daylight Savings or Stealing + Can Work Be Play + Sir Ernest Shackleton

This last week I assembled a last minute March Madness fundraiser for the Fulcrum Foundation. It's been blast to connect with people around the event, see a great outpouring of support, and watch the carefully built brackets crumble. Is there anything in sports that tops the chaos of the college basketball tournament? 

I also spent a few days adjusting to the new sunshine schedule, taking darker walks with the dog and putting reigning the kids in from the garden a little later than usual. There were also some really cool discoveries and a ton of wisdom pearls in my podcast diet. Here's what I've been:

Reading - Daylight saving time is usually an issue on two days a year - spring forward and fall back. This year it’s taken up oxygen for a week and has even inspired some amazing consensus in Congress (albeit wrongheaded IMO). Last week the Senate the Sunshine Protection Act - a bill to make daylight savings time permanent. I’m all for keeping our clocks consistent, as are the vast majority of scientific studies, but I’d argue that Standard Time is the way to go. I mean…we’ve already gone all in of Daylight Savings Time twice and hated it. Isn’t this just the definition of insanity? As a morning person with kids, I definitely care more about getting AM sun as soon as possible and prefer putting my kids to bed in the dark. Both make life way easier. For the part of my life that I lived as a night owl, I can’t say I recall caring when the sun set each day or if it had been up for two minutes or two hours when I woke. There are arguments for and against. I’m curious, what do you think?

Listening to - I listened to a great podcast with Angela Duckworth this week. She the author of GRIT - the Power of Passion and Perseverance and the founder & CEO of Character Lab. There were so many nuggets of gold in the conversation, but one in particular has been rolling around in my noggin. Duckworth paraphrases game designer Jane McGonigal by saying “play[ing a game] is the voluntary overcoming of unnecessary obstacles.” Duckworth then goes on to offer that maybe work is the feeling we get when involuntarily overcoming of necessary obstacles. It made me wonder: once our basic needs of food and shelter are met, shouldn’t we all be playing instead of working? Is there a space we can find (or create) where every challenge we overcome is chosen? To take it a step further, maybe the shift is a mental one - by choosing how we overcome our obstacles - even when we can’t choose the obstacles - can we make work feel like play? Wouldn’t that be the magic that helps us find happiness on the way to fulfillment?

Remembering - My first work mentor was a woman named Debbie. She taught me about the power of networks and showed me how to seed an idea. She also introduced me to my second mentor, Ken. Ken taught me about inspiration and optimism in the face of big challenges. He exposed me to using models of thinking and organizing, especially in the areas of team, to get massive collective achievement. One of his biggest inspirations was Sir Ernest Shackleton. The story of Endurance and Shackleton's Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition are an amazing tale of teamwork, commitment, and survival. If you've never read Endurance by Alfred Lansing, I'd highly recommend it. You can check out a very cool video and story of Endurance's discovery here. 

I hope everyone is well rested and fully adjusted this week. Here's to a sprint of fun, play, teamwork, and endurance. 

Radical Candor + Overcoming What Can Kill You + Rethinking Recreation

The last few days have been hinting at Spring here in DC, and there's a noticeable increase in energy and engagement that seems to come along with the rising temperatures. I hope you've enjoyed the first full week of March as much as I have. Other than the changing seasons, the following things have been rattling around for me of late. 

I've been:

Reading - for Christmas of 2020 Liz and I got my daughter a Kindle. She's a huge bookworm and we thought this might be a way to feed her hunger for books while limiting our library trips and keeping our bookshelves from overflowing. We were wrong; she hated it! Luckily, I happened to pick up the Kindle last week and I'm really enjoying it. It's light and a great way to read in bed when others are asleep. The first book that popped out at me was Radical Candor by Kim Scott. It reminds me a lot of Unleashed: The Unapologetic Leader's Guide to Empowering Everyone Around You by Francis Frei & Anne Morriss, which is a guiding book for our team at Fulcrum this year. Both books use a quadrant system to approach how we connect and communicate with other people. In her book, Scott uses the axes of "Care Personally" and "Challenge Directly" to establish a style of Radical Candor as the desired intersection of both measures. Frei and Morriss use the axes of Standards and Devotion to establish a "Justice" quadrant at their preferred quadrant. While Unleashed dives into leadership beyond just communication, the pith of both books is that people want you to bring your honest self and your honest feedback to them. In our Keller Williams culture, we call this "care" and "candor". People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. 

Watching - Speaking of my daughter, Emma, it's been a tough week for her Oral Immunotherapy Treatment. Some of you may know that she has a life threatening allergy to peanuts, and she's been microdosing for over a year to establish a tolerance that will ultimately protect her from accidental ingestion. Over the last month she's made incredible strides toward becoming "bite safe" in her exposure. While we stumbled a bit on that journey this week, the thing that really struck me is how intent and resilient she is. Watching her hold firm in this walk over the last year (plus) has been a challenge for me. I can only imagine what she's endured by summoning the courage to eat something that could theoretically kill her...on a daily basis. They say that having children decreases happiness but increases fulfillment. I don't know about that, but I'm positive that having my kids allows me to put challenges in perspective and to find inspiration that keeps me moving. Watching what they overcome is the ultimate fuel. 

Thinking - The word recreation jumped out at me a few times this week. I've been very purposeful over the last two years on building a better priority and counterbalance in my work-life integration, and finding fun has been a big part of that. Almost all of the fun has been in the traditional sense of recreation - it's outside of work. Seeing the word this week hit me differently though. For some reason my brain broke it down into "re-creation". It got me thinking about how I could rebuild parts of my life and business that aren't working optimally by making them more fun. American culture has an understanding that work is supposed to be hard; for too many it's just a card punching slog. The people that are the best at what they do typically enjoy what they do more than their peers. So I'm asking myself "how can we make doing what we do more fun, so that by enjoying what we do, we do it better?" Does recreation really have to happen only outside of work? 

I hope you have a fun, inspired week. Live it in your top-right quadrant. 

The Freedom of Journaling + Weird Happiness + Purposeful Connection

I love a good vacation. It hasn't always been that way, especially with my long standing disposition for grinding it out in my work rhythms. Over the last few years though, I've really come to appreciate what the reset and perspective change that a week or two away can offer. This last week I got my "working" vacation at FR22 and my "true" family vacation in Puerto Rico. Both gave me lots of great input. In those days, here's what I was:

Reading - Journaling has been a hit and miss practice throughout my life. I write for a while then my consistency peters out. Part of what's held me from consistency has been the nagging question of "when am I actually going to read or use this stuff?" Once in a blue moon I'll pick up an old journal and flip through it, asking myself why I ever got so wound up about such trivial or finite things and the purpose of logging thoughts and emotions. This week I read a piece called Notes Apps Are Where Ideas Go to Die and I had a radical mind shift. Journaling doesn't have to be done so that you can reread your epiphanies later. It doesn't need to be a collection of your amazing insights and ideas. It can simply be a way to take the mental mess in your brain and release it by putting pen to paper. Kinda freeing... 

Watching - The keynote address of Family Reunion 2022 was delivered by Shawn Achor. If you missed it, here's an abbreviated version from his 2015 Ted Talk (which is part stand up comedy, part positive psychology) and a longer piece from 2017. I love the main premise that success doesn't equal happiness (in fact using success as a metric almost guarantees unhappiness), but happiness is what fuels success. What I love even more is the focus on statistical outliers. By focusing on the "weirds" -- the outliers who are above the trend lines -- we can learn about yielding incredible results by focusing on actions that choose happiness. By seeking out and surrounding ourselves with these "weirds" we can create a community that lives an average that's of stratospheric proportion. That's the social cohesion we want, and social cohesion is what predicts happiness. 

Thinking - Connections are easy to make but take work to maintain. Chance encounters can be sparks of joy or can spark a fire. This week I was lucky enough to see dozens of people that I've missed for months or years. I met new people that I've meant to meet for even longer. A few of these reconnections could lead to life changing partnerships. If I choose to appreciate the encounters and know that I'll see these people again, we will certainly build deeper bonds. I love that natural progression. I can also choose to reach out to a choice few and lean into faster and deeper connections, creating purposeful progression. Connections inspire me, but true inspiration leads to action, and valuable actions lead to true reward. 

Have a free, connected, happy week.