It's also said that happiness is experienced on the way to fulfillment. My experience is that there's no bigger, more fulfilling role than being a parent. So maybe the frequency of happiness decreases with kids, (heck...having kids means we generally sacrifice doing exactly what we want to do so that we can do what they need to be done) but I'd wager a bet that the amplitude of our experience increases. Maybe getting to see each of those peaks is what delivers a fulfilling life, and if we pay attention along the way we get happiness as a byproduct.
Here's what else the last week had me:
Reading - Atomic Habits by James Clear is a highly lauded book about building small positive changes to reach one's full potential. The simplicity of the idea and the models offered are very worthy of the book's near unanimous praise. Along the read I found some unexpected ideas beyond just habit building. One in particular is that input, environment, and outcome are all interrelated; they must be considered together in achieving what we want. Clear uses a great analogy to express this. He writes, "Boiling water will soften a potato but harden an egg. You can't control whether you’re a potato or egg, but you can decide to play a game where it’s better to be hard or soft." By knowing who you are and what you want, you can decide if the environment you're in will help you progress.
Watching - The Netflix show Ozark has been my chosen stream of late. I'm only about half way through Season One, but the complexity of the plot lines, fragile depth of relationships, and dark underbelly content is engrossing. It's yet another prime example of how modern entertainment has perfected the protagonist who is a deeply flawed character. The thing that keeps me coming back is my admiration for how Jason Bateman’s character, Marty Byrd, seems unflappable in the most dire of all situations. When most any other character would freeze, he is able to escape by deftly thinking on his feet. By no means is Marty a role model, but he’s an inspiration for creative problem solving.
Thinking - my friend Mike posed a great question to a group of colleagues last week. He asked, “what’s the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem?” I think the two are linked, but they are fundamentally different. Self-confidence is rooted in the belief that one can do something. It’s saying, “challenge me, I have the skill to..”. It’s built through experience and practice. Self-esteem is an inner belief about our worth. It’s a reflection on what we feel we deserve. Self-esteem is saying “I am worthy...of respect, or success, or a great marriage, or...simply because I am.” Self confidence and self esteem are both are incredibly important to maximizing who we become, but only one is fundamental to our human existence. Every person is worthy of whatever they want, simply by the beating of their heart. Our mission is to act in accordance with the values required to fulfill our dreams.
Weekly gig - a heartwarming tweet that lead to this clip inspires this week’s gig. I saw scores of Phish shows in my twenties, but haven’t had them in my musical rotation in quite some time. Here’s a show from their 1997 winter European tour that many still rank among the best of all time.
Have a joyful, creative week. You deserve it.
P.S. - since I missed posting last week, I can't sign off with out mentioning sentient AI. The debate around Google's LaMDA (Language Model for Dialogue Applications) was enthralling. If you missed it, check out The Washington Post's blockbuster story about a Google programmer's belief that a sentient computer has been created, as well as the responding Opinion piece by two leading AI ethicists who say that this is simply human personification of a very advanced program.
